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Examples of use word English Example 1Home - A -
Age Jokes
"That's an
excellent essay for someone your age," said the
English (synonyms of word English above)
teacher.
"How about for someone my Mum's age, Miss?"
"Welcome to
school, Simon," said the nursery school teacher to the
new boy.
"How old are you?" "I'm not old," said Simon. "I'm nearly
new."
Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school
magazine.
"How old are you, ma'am?" asked Fred.
"I'm not going
to tell you that," she replied.
"But Mr Hill the technical teacher
and Mr Hill the geography teacher
told me how old they were."
"Oh well," said Miss Jones. "I'm the same age as both of them."
The
poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote:
Miss
Jones, our
English (synonyms of word English above) teacher, confided in me that she was as old as
the
Hills.
"Now remember, boys and girls," said the science
teacher, "you can
tell a tree's age by counting the rings in
a cross section. One ring
for each year."
Fred went home for
tea and found a chocolate roll on the table.
"I'm not eating that,
Mum!" she said. "It's five years old."
Grandma:
You've left all your crusts, Fred. When I was your age I ate
every one.
Fred: Do you still like crusts, Grandma?
Grandma: Yes, I do.
Fred: Well, you can have mine.
How old is your
wife?
Approaching forty.
From which direction?
An
eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was
correct
that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday.
`That's
right,' said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I
haven't an
enemy in the world. They're all dead.'
`Well, sir,' said the
interviewer, `I hope very much to have the
honour of interviewing
you on your hundredth birthday.'
The old man looked at the young
man closely, and said, `I can't see
why you shouldn't. You
look fit and healthy to me!'
Read more about this joke.Example 2A US
Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal
alien in the bushes right by the
border fence, he pulls him out and
says "Sorry, you know the law, you've
got to go back across the
border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo
Senior, I must stay in de
USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol
Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard
for him and says
"Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3
English (synonyms of word English above) words
in a
sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol
Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and
Yellow. Now use
them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for
about 2 minutes, then says,
"Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green,
Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez
Yellow?"
Read more about this joke.Example 3Have you ever seen a duchess?
Yes - it's
the same as an
English (synonyms of word English above) "s"
Read more about this joke.Example 4As the airliner was preparing to land in
Madrid in a rainstorm, an
English (synonyms of word English above) passenger seemed noticeably afraid.
"What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.
"Surely,"
said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The
planes in
Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"
Read more about this joke.