advice
Synonyms advice

advice

admonition

advisement

alerting

broadcast journalism

caution

cautioning

clue

communication

communique

counsel

cue

direction

dispatch

embassy

express
Examples of use word advice Example 1For all of you with teenagers or who have had
teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have
a lot
in common with cats:
- Neither teenagers nor cats
turn their heads when you call them by
name.
- No matter what
you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane
efforts are
barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting
on them
hand and foot.
- You rarely see a cat walking outside of the
house with an adult human
being, and it can be safely said that no
teenager in his or her right
mind wants to be seen in public with his
or her parents.
- Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno,
neither your cat nor your
teen will ever crack a smile.
- No
cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
- Cats and teenagers
can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end
without moving,
barely breathing.
- Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry o
n as if they did.
- Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same
manner, communicating
that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of
complete and utter boredom.
- Cats and teenagers do not improve
anyone's furniture.
- Cats that are free to roam outside
sometimes have been known to
return in the middle of the night to deposit
a dead animal in your bedroom.
Teenagers are not above that sort of
behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources
of
advice (synonyms of word advice above) are not
other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a
good idea to keep a
guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And
remember, above all else, put
out the food and do not make any sudden
moves in their direction. When
they make up their minds, they will
finally come to you for some
affection and comfort, and it will be a
triumphant moment for all
concerned.
Read more about this joke.Example 2What
advice (synonyms of word advice above) to cows
give?
Turn the udder
cheek and mooooove on!
Read more about this joke.Example 3A man
walked into a therapist's
office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've
got to help me. I can't
go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the docotor
inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the
ladies. No
matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them
away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on
your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the
bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun
person, and
an attractive person. But say it with real conviction.
Within a week
you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The
man seemed content with this
advice (synonyms of word advice above) and walked out of the office a
bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden
expression on his face.
"Did my
advice (synonyms of word advice above) not work?" asked the
doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've e
njoyed some of
the best moments in my life with the most fabulous
looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't
have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
Read more about this joke.Example 4A very religious man lived right next
door to an atheist. While
the religious one prayed day in, day out,
and was constantly on
his knees in communion with his Lord, the
atheist never even
looked twice at a church.
However, the
atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job
and a beautiful wife,
and his children were healthy and good-
natured, whereas the pious
man's job was strenuous and his
wages were low, his wife was
getting fatter every day and his
kids wouldn't give him the time of the
day.
So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes
towards heaven and asked:
"Oh God, I honour you every day, I
ask your
advice (synonyms of word advice above) for every
problem and confess to you my every sin.
Yet my neighbour,
who doesn't even believe in you and certainly
never prays,
seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor
and
suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"
And a great voice w
as heard from above:
"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE
TIME!"
Read more about this joke.