back up
Synonyms back up

back up

act for

advance

affirm

afford support

answer for

appear for

ascend

attest

authenticate

back

back away

back off

back-pedal

backtrack

backwater
Examples of use word back up Example 1The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire
seats
in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed
this
he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only
allowed one
seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher
became more
impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm
going to have to
call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.
The
usher marched briskly
back up (synonyms of word back up above) the aisle. In a moment he returned
with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the
cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The
cop
surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy,
what's
you're name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The
balcony."
Read more about this joke.Example 2A Texan walks into a pub in
Ireland and
clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear
you Irish are
a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American
dollars to anybody
in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness
back-to-back."
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's
offer. One man even
leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who
left shows
back up (synonyms of word back up above)
and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet
still good?", asks
the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and
asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of
Guinness. Immediately the
Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses
drinking them all
back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan
sits in
amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya
don't mind me
askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were
gone?".
The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub
down the street to
see if I could do it first".
Read more about this joke.Example 3A Software Engineer, a
Hardware Engineer and a Branch
Manager were on their way to a meeting.
They were driving down a
steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes
on their car failed. The
car careened almost out of control down the
road, bouncing off the
crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a
halt scraping
along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but
unhurt, now
had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a
car with
no brakes. What were they to do?
"I know," said the Branch
Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a
Vision, formulate a Mission
Statement, define some Goals, and by a
process of Continuous
Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems,
and we can be on our
way."
"No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far
too long,
and besides, that method has never worked before. I
've got my Swiss
Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can
strip down the car's
braking system, isolate the fault, fix it,
and we can be on our way."
"Well," said the Software Engineer,
"Before we do anything, I think
we should push the car
back up (synonyms of word back up above) the
road and see if it happens
again."
Read more about this joke.Example 4There once was an accountant who lived her whole life
without
ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In
fact, she
made sure that every job she did resulted in a win-win
situation.
One day while walking down the street she was
tragically hit by a bus
and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where
she was met at the
Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome
to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in
though it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never
once
had an accountant make it this far and we're not really sure what
to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." said the
accountant. "Well, I'd like
to, but I have higher orders. What we're
going to do is let you have a
day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then
you can choose whichever one
you want to spend an eternity in
."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay
in
Heaven"
"Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that
St. Peter put the accountant in an elevator and it went
down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and the accountant found
herself
stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In
the
distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her
friends - fellow accountants that she had worked with and they were
all
dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.
They ran
up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old
times.
They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the
country
club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met
the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute)
and she had a
great time telling jokes and dancing. The accountant
was having such a
good time that before she knew it, it was ti
me to leave. Everybody
shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got
on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened
back up (synonyms of word back up above)
at the Pearly Gates and
found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's
time to spend a day in
heaven."
So the accountant spent the
next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and
playing the harp and
singing. She had a great time and before she knew
it her 24 hours
were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in
hell and you've spent a day in heaven.
Now you must choose your
eternity."
The accountant paused for a second and then replied,
"Well, I never
thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really
great and all, but
I think I had a better time in Hell."
So
St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the accountant went
down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened
she
found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in
garbage and
filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and
were picking up the
garbage and putting it in sacks.
The
Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't
understand,"
stammered the accountant, "Yesterday I was here and there was a
golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had
a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland of garbage and all my
friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled.
"That's because yesterday you
were a recruit, but today you're
staff."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An
accountant applies for the position of Chief Financial Officer.
There are a number of candidates and he is called in for an interview.
They
ask him a number of questions and one of the panel suddenly says
"What
is nine multiplied by four?"
He thinks quickly and
says "Thirty five." When the in
terview is over
he goes outside, takes out his calculator and
finds the correct answer
is not thirty five. He thinks "Well, I blew
that" and goes home very
disappointed.
Next day he is rung up
and told he has got the job. "Wonderful," he
says, "but what about
nine multiplied by four? My answer wasn't
right"
"We know,
but of all the candidates you came the closest."
Read more about this joke.